Christmas – a time for rejoicing?

Christmas is a challenging time of year for people. Of course lots of people have a great time. It’s an excuse to go out and celebrate and get mindlessly drunk with friends. It’s an opportunity for families from far afield to get together for those few days when time seems to be suspended. It’s a chance to glut yourself on food for a day or two and sit back and be entertained by the telly. I used to avoid Christmas by going away to places where it wasn’t celebrated. The whole feel of Christmas made me sad and I couldn’t stand... Read More »

get to know your nasty side

If you get to know your nasty side then you’re half way at least to understanding who you are. We all want to be nice people but inevitably we have tendencies every so often to be mean to other people. It’s almost in our nature; we can’t help it sometimes. Inevitably someone will annoy, irritate or disappoint us and we say that sneery or sarcastic thing that just pops out of our mouths before we think. As with everything opposites go on side by side. Where there is light there is also darkness; where there is hope there is also... Read More »

Self awareness

The older I become(!) the more I wonder if one of the main reasons we are so unhappy is because we don’t know ourselves very well. We don’t know what we should think most of the time, nor what we should do, nor what we should feel. Of course some people are happier than others; well balanced and measured but a lot of us find life a bit of a struggle. We like being told what to do ¬†and spend a lot of our life waiting for the next interesting event or person to come along and take us out... Read More »

does talking always help?

I have wondered for some time now whether talking is enough on its own. I feel that it is easy for someone like me to make claims about how it helps but I do wonder if we as practitioners get too bogged down in our own vanity to see that other people aren’t always helped in the way we think they should be. If talking leads to insight then it can change the way we behave; it can change our emotional belief system. Perhaps it isn’t thinking which is entirely key to a happier, more contented life, perhaps it is our... Read More »

Understanding the difference between a group and a gang

Any one of us can, at any time, given the right context and circumstances, be overtaken by a gang mentality. In fact many positions we occupy at work could arguably be said to encourage or rely upon a gang mentality; when we are under pressure to meet deadlines, to achieve higher and higher standards for example, it is easy to project our feelings of weakness, of vulnerability, of failure into a person who appears to be needier than we are or weaker than we are because we cannot bear to admit to or look upon that weak, helpless part of... Read More »